Okay, help. This is getting seriously bad. I’m getting sucked deeper and deeper into this craziness and I have absolutely no idea what to do. My best friend isn’t even into it yet, which means I can’t get into arguments about the boys with her yet.
It’s coming though. It’s coming.
Also, I’m reading the series for the second time, and I’m sorry, I know, but Bella is GETTING ON MY NERVES. I know it’s a gorgeous story about a girl who never felt like she belonged finding her real place and her true love (which I’ll get to later-don’t remind me), but COME ON. Bella can be kind of an airhead!
Do you want my example? Okay, so remember when she’s at that party with the Cullens at their house for her birthday? Right, the one where she got a paper cut.
She got a paper cut. In a house full of vampires. I don’t blame her for that at all, she’s clumsy, it happens, but it’s what she did next. She held her finger up and stared at the blood in front of seven vampires. Seven vampires, six of which are not perfect and really would love to suck her blood. And one of which is an empath, who can feel the bloodlust of the other five.
There was a totally easy way to avoid that whole scenario! All you need to do, when you first feel the cut, is stick your finger in your mouth to clean off the blood, then curl your hand into a fist, excuse your self to find a bandaid, maybe take Carlisle with you, and don’t come back until you do! Is it really so hard!
And Edward! Pushing your girlfriend into a wall to protect her from bloodlust, which only causes her to bleed more? Really smart, sparkle-butt!
Okay, so yeah, that’s that for the paper cut thing. (I mean, come on. Really?) But there are a couple other things that really bug me, which I’m going to get into.
First: The Volturi. Yeah, the Volturi. The big scary boogeymen of the vampire world who will hunt you down for one mistake and are just weirdos (which I mean in the best possible way).
Stephanie Meyer had this amazing chance fall right in her lap with these guys, and she totally ruined it by just making them corrupt and power hungry. She could of turned them into really incredible and complex villains or even antiheroes, with intricate backstories and lots of drama, but she took the easy road and chose to focus on Edward and Bella kissing while on their honeymoon. She literally gave up the characterization of a lifetime to write about teenage angst, which honestly sums up the whole Bella-Edward-Jacob dynamic in so many words.
I’m not mad at her, exactly, but I really hope she remedies it in one of her two books she says she has left. I think one might be about Alice and Jasper, but the second one’s topic hasn’t been announced yet. But seriously. If I had the opportunity to have this type of possible characterization under MY copyright, I would die. Not kidding.
Second: The screen time/number of pages given over to backstories and characterization. For example, Carlisle is a very interesting 400 year old vampire who was the son of an English pastor. But we barely get any of his history, which was really cool. You’re telling me he wasn’t in the Revolutionary War?
And Jasper. Jasper is a really strong character with a sad backstory that totally makes his character make sense, plus has a really nice character development arc. But it was almost completely cut from the movies, and not given much space in the books. I don’t think anyone would complain if we saw how he met Alice, it was really sweetly described in the books. Also, I just looked is up, and Jasper’s backstory is given exactly 4 minutes and 13 seconds of screen time in the two hour film Eclipse. How is that fair?!?!?!?!?!
So yeah, those are my things for now. Sometimes Twilight just drives me nuts. The good news is, the fandom is more than happy to fix that, and I think Stephanie Meyer is trying.
The next post I write won’t be about Twilight, I promise. I’m not sure what it’ll be about, but I’ll think of that when I get there.
Goodbye for now,