You ever see that movie Children of the Corn? The one where a bunch of puritanical little devils infest a corn field and then pop out and kill people with scythes? Yeah. 

   It all started because mom decided she didn’t want to deal with the traffic on I25. She took the exit ramp and started heading east. 

  It wasn’t long before we were driving down a dirt road in the middle of the country, surrounded only by darkness, faint faraway houselights, and………………………corn. 

     She brought it up, then I remembered reading about how to defeat the little suckers. If you were wondering, it’s in a book called How to Survive a Horror Movie, which is full of helpful tips and tricks on how to survive anything from serial killers to monsters to zombies. If you value your life I suggest you buy this book. 

    After we got the child problem sorted out (Jimmy Buffet and loud noise, don’t ask), we turned to the problem of finding a way out. Easier said than done. 

    Let’s just say we were driving in circles for nearly 45 minutes. After we dealt with the kid problem, I thought we ought to be careful of the following: 

• Serial Killers
• Corn Children 
• Our car turning evil and trying to kill us 

   I wasn’t too worried about the last one because we treat our car well and it seems to like us, so that only left two. Although aliens were still a possibility. We had a lot of wrong turns, so there was ample time to attack us. 

   I think we got off easy considering all the stuff that COULD have happened. I mean, we came very close to getting killed by a slasher. 

   Did I mention there was no cell service and a monster thunder storm? I wonder what creature got re-animated with that batch of lightning. I’m sure it was something big. We’ll probably be hearing about it in the next couple days. 

   We did die…….of laughter. That was the most we’ve laughed together in weeks. Now granted, mom swore at the road a lot and there was the very real chance we were lost in sight of the city, but it was worth it. 

   I’ll always treasure the adventure we had, even though we didn’t actually come  into contact with any strange creatures. It was a good experience. Goes to show that a little mistake can lead to a lot of accidental family time. 

     But if you’re driving down a dirt road, in the dark in a thunderstorm, with only one bar of service, don’t, WHATEVER YOU DO, unlock the doors……….

This is a Steampunk post. Just thought I should give you guys a warning label.

Not like that. But close enough, I guess.

I realized just now that I haven’t not only not written a post in a long time, I haven’t written a steampunk post in a long time.

I was hoping to have some crafting tutorials up by now, but I’m usually too busy to actually make them. But from now on, I’m going to start doing some videos of crafts for you guys.

Well, I don’t have a ton of stuff to tell you guys about Steampunk, but I will be giving you a quick guide to getting around in this universe without getting laughed at.

Okay, first: If you’re making things, be it costumes, props or dirigibles, you need to remember three things.

1. Everything has a purpose. Don’t just randomly stick on cogs if you don’t need them. Things can be totally Steampunk without having a single cog in sight. When designing stuff, go for functionality, then decoration. And when you decorate, think Victorian.
2. Screwed is always better than glued. (Got this from Thomas Willeford, mentioned later) When you’re making props, screw everything you can. The reason for this is two-fold: a) it allows your pieces to be taken apart, put back together, and b) it’s both more durable AND more realistic. Also, side note: when using screws, go for a flat head whenever you can. Philips heads weren’t invented until the 1930s.
3. Metal over plastic. Simple. It’s more realistic. There are a few rare cases where making things out of metal would be dangerous/impractical, which are the rare times when there is not other option.

Now, on to other fields. You’re going to need a place to learn about new stuff, get ideas, and generally get in the know. Below are some websites you might want to check out.

https://steampunk.wonderhowto.com

(My personal favorite)

Reddit (not personally recommended- I’ve heard bad things about reddit)

Brass Goggles (A site for steampunks by steampunks. Couldn’t be more perfect.)

So that’s taken care of. You have your ground rules, you have your inspiration, but there’s a couple of things missing…… MUSIC and MEDIA! (And yes, I count those two separately.)

Music: I suggest Abney Park, plus the playlist I complied for you guys a while back. Some good ones from Abney Park:

Steampunk Revolution (First one I listened to) 
Airship Pirates (This will get stuck in your head FOREVER)
Sleep Isabella
To the Apocalypse in Daddy's Sidecar
The Circus at the End of the World (Self explanatory) 

These guys were the very first all-Steampunk band, and they are one of the best. (Also, warning label: I do NOT recommend Steam Powered Giraffe, they are very abrasive and not for beginners.)

Now, media! This involves books and movies, most of which you can find on various sites online.

Books
Jules Verne. Any and all Jules Verne. I don't care if he's old, he's amazing. Also, happy 193rd Birthday, sir! 
The Lost World, Arthur Conan Doyle
H.G. Wells. A lot of his books are Steampunk. 
The Steampunk Bible, by Jeff VanderMeer and S.J.Chambers
Steampunk Gears, Gadgets and Gizmos, by Thomas Willeford (My first, if you were wondering....) 
The Art of Steampunk, by Art Donovan (beautiful, inspirational, also has Thomas Willeford) 
The Golden Compass, By Philip Pullman
The Invention of Hugo Cabret, by Brian Selznick
The Extraordinary Adventures of the Athena Club, Books 1-3, by Theodora Goss


Movies and Shows
The Wild Wild West (1965) It is literally the most Steampunk thing ever. 
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, any and all forms and spin offs. Captain Nemo could not be more Steampunk if he was actually trying. 
Atlantis:The Lost Empire, (2001) Yeah, I guess so. 
Treasure Planet, It's got airships, which makes up for the animation.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen,(2003) Once again, Captain Nemo, ladies and gentlemen. Plus a bunch of other literary characters. P.S. If you don't know Allan Quartermain, just type in his name and 'king Solomon's mines' and it'll all make sense. 
Sherlock Holmes, The one with Robert Downey Junior. 

So that’s pretty much it, except for one thing: I need to introduce Thomas Willeford and his girlfriend Sarah Hunter. He is the founder of Brute Force Studios, a company that makes steampunk art and fashion. He was one of the first people to get into the movement, back when it wasn’t really a thing, and he’s quite famous nowadays.

Sarah is his model and partner in crime. I’m not sure if the first part is willing or not. Below is a picture of the two of them, just so you can recognize who I’m talking about.

Kay, that’s it for now, but I’ll be back! -evil maniacal laughter-

Ta-ta!!

I know I already wrote for today, but a lot has happened. I saw the cat not once, but twice, for a start!

But also: I just thought of a great idea for you guys. Picture this: A Steampunk music playlist!

And that’s what I’m doing now, just to warn you. Okay, here we go……

This music is great. Seriously. It’s made with a clock sound and is so totally Steampunk.

This song is honestly incredible. I have listened to these guys before, and they make the most epic pirate music, but this is insane. I played this out loud and I turned into a mad scientist racing to save the world! I’m not even kidding! Never has writing vocabulary words felt so epic.

Also, I totally love the title of the song. It gave me an idea for this daring adventurer, about to do something insane and self-sacrificing, when their partner cries out, “The rocks will kill you!” (or something along these lines) To which the adventurer replies, defiantly, “Time will catch me first!”

Whether I will actually be able to use this idea is another story.

This one is a little long, and about half of it is actually ‘futuristic’ music, whatever that is, but it was the first one I came across and totally worth it. I use this music for inspiration when I’m writing about this idea for a book I came up with. And, I mean, who doesn’t love Steampunk spies?!

I know this is an hour long, and who has that kind of time, but it’s the first ever Steampunk music album. I just couldn’t not include it.

Okay, seriously though, this one is awesome. Like, honestly.

I could go on, but I’m going to stop, since some of these videos are really long. Just one last thing, though: There are actually a bunch of really good Steampunk bands. I’m not kidding, it’s a thing.

Just some examples:

Ghostfire

Steam Powered Giraffe

The Men Who Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing

Vernian Process

Abney Park

Unextraordinary Gentlemen

There are more, and this is definitely an acquired taste, but I included it just in case you might like it. There is also one called The Ballad of Mona Lisa by Panic!At the Disco that is actually really good, and I recommend it. Actually, I’m going to put it in here.

It is actually quite good. I’m thinking of doing a pirate music themed playlist at some point soon, since I have a lot of good songs in that genre.

What do you guys think? Please let me know.

 (Published 1/19/21)

The last post I wrote was published on January 5th, the day before the Capitol was stormed by an angry mob. It has been a long couple of weeks.

Tomorrow is a landmark moment in our nation’s history: the election of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris to the offices of President and Vice President. Kamala will be the first woman elected Vice President.

We have also reached 400,000 dead from COVID 19. Today, 400 illuminated columns were installed along the sides of the reflecting pool in honor of those who died.

The past year has been harder for America than words can express. We are tired of being inside, being alone, being without the people we love, and we cannot see the end of this dark path. But just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean it’s not there.

As Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce said on October 5th, 1877, “Our hearts are sick and sad.” Tonight we remember our family, the ones who were with us not long ago, and the ones who are fighting the virus as we speak.

It has never been easy for Americans. We have never had our freedoms handed to us on a silver platter, we had to fight for them. It’s been 225 years since the document that founded our country, the Declaration of Independence, was created, and we have never stopped fighting since then.

We were barefoot soldiers in the snow, fighting the most powerful army in the world for the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Then we were statesmen, arguing over the way to build a country. We were creating new rules to a very old game, reinventing the world order. After America, the world was never the same.

Then, we were settlers, pushing west, ever west, desperate to exercise our freedoms, unconscious of the people we were hurting.

And then we were soldiers. The Civil War was the worst that America has ever faced, but it once again changed history. Before the war, we were all separate states. People used to say “the United States are.” It was only after the war that people started to say “The United States is.”

After that we were a new generation, moving forward into a new century, determined to put the past behind us and move forward into a bright new future.

Then we were survivors, helping each other along, working together to pick up the pieces of our lives blown apart by the Great Depression.

Then we were once again soldiers, this time fighting for the rest of the world, so that they might become democratic nations as well. We were the Greatest Generation, the brave men and women who fought tooth and nail to help people who were different from them.

Then, we were dreamers, looking to the stars, and thinking about how to get there.

We’ve always been dreamers, ever since the beginning. We have dared to look through the fog of difficulty to the shining future beyond. We’ve always been soldiers, fighting for our beliefs. Fighting doesn’t have to look like war. It can look like a force for change, like a parade down Pennsylvania Avenue for the right to vote, or joining hands and walking across a bridge when the people on the other side want to hurt you.

It can look like voting. It can look like wearing a mask.

Today, President-Elect Biden said a simple sentence. I think it showed what strong people Americans can be. He said this:

“To heal is to remember.”

Five words. Five words can be all it takes to bring a country together. Five words can be all it takes to rally a nation of fighters.

We have to remember. Remember where we came from, remember who has come before, and remember just how strong we can really be.

This is why I believe that we will make it out of this darkness. WE ARE STRONG. WE CAN ENDURE.

We have two hundred and twenty five years of ancestors who are rooting for us, wherever they are, and two hundred and twenty five years of practice in standing up for what we believe in. We can do this.

America will endure.

“But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and provide new Guards for their future security.”

– Thomas Jefferson, Declaration of Independence

Those who have the ability to take action have the responsibility to take action. You have the ability to take action. You have the responsibility to take action. Take action.

Wanderlust

An intrepid wanderer, 

Lost beneath the sea, 

But when I call you back

Will you come back for me? 

A thousand and one nights

A thousand and one tales to tell

But when time has run out

Will you tell my story as well? 

In a ship of good strong wood,

Singing a hopeful song,

When the storm has set in,

Will you bring me along? 

Through the foggy streets,

By the light of a single lamp,

When the mystery has been solved,

Will it be you I have the honor to meet?

Through a treacherous jungle,

Or along a country road,

In a house’s stairwell where a ghost might pass,

Or through uncut savannah grass. 

On the wings of a dragon, 

Soaring through the sky,

Or on a tall promontory, watching the ships pass by. 

I have no wish to live,

Eyes on the ground,
Walking straight ahead. 

Instead I’ll take the road less traveled, 

And then maybe I’ll fly. 

But I can’t help but wonder,

 A little at a time,

Are all these imaginings simply in my mind? 

Am I really destined 

To soar like a lark? 

And if I am then why

Do all my adventures end with a question mark?  

No negative comments, please, I’m pouring my heart out here!